Personal · text post

Recovery is not a race

“Recovery is not a race. You don’t have to feel guilty if it takes you longer than you thought it would”

I am across this quote the other week while on Pinterest. I like to pin inspirational and life quotes as I have always had a thing with them. I used to keep a notebook in my bag when back at College and University and would fill it with quotes I had heard and liked. Even my yearly calendar has a quote for each month. Maybe I am a little obsessed!

Still, this quote actually made me feel something when I pinned it, simply because I had only been talking about my slow progress overcoming depression and anxiety the day before. I have posted about my depression, I am not ashamed to have suffered from it, but as that is getting better [I am now off anti-depressants] I am finding my anxiety is slowly getting worse. I cried and said to my boyfriend that I felt I wasn’t getting better quick enough… maybe I don’t need to feel as bad as I do.

I left my job back in December. I decided enough was enough and I wasn’t getting any better, my depression and treatment by a few individuals at work had caused me to lose my confidence in my job, and I wasn’t grasping it back. Sad really, as I had been in the company for five years, and I had been a Supervisor at one point. I had been put on probation to improve, and as I hadn’t, I made the jump before I was pushed out.

It has taken me at least 6 weeks to get all the stress out of my body and for me to feel like, health wise, I am on a better track, not where I should be, but I’m getting there. But all this time anxiety has been bubbling up and starting to control my everyday life. I am fearful of what people think about me, what they think about me not having a job for two months, if they feel I’m not trying hard enough.. even down to if they think I look fat now I have put on some weight due to medication. To some that will sound silly, but in my head, it isn’t.

This quote, however, has made me realise it isn’t a race, it isn’t like I have to get to the finish line within a certain amount of time. If it takes me three maybe four months.. then it does. The people who matter are supporting me and I just need to remember I am doing my best. If that is not enough then tough!

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